“I’m Going to Eat Myself into a Coma, While Occasionally Saying Thanks for Something Day” has officially come and gone. All that’s left is the four pounds I’ve gained and the funky mood I’ve acquired because of it.
It’s as if the scale knew about my discretions: the 3 wedges of caramel cake; bowl of peach cobbler; taste 3 slices of strawberry lemon cake; and 2 slivers chunks of chocolate chip banana pumpkin bread. It called out to me, alluring me daily to affirm all of the fears that flooded my mind since that last swallow of delectable sugary goodness. But I made a vow not to weigh myself until next week. However, I would not be able to resist the temptation. Reluctantly I stepped on “the truth.” The scale screamed back at me, 239 pounds of disappointment. No worries, a family size bag of Ranch flavored Doritos comforted me in my state of despair. Over the next few days I would make potato chips a staple in my diet.
I could hear my own voice telling others all of the things that I now needed to get me over this hump: “Don’t stop, keep going,” “You’re in this for
the long haul,” “Remind yourself why you’re doing this,” “Don’t quit now you’ve come too far,” “Blah, blah, blah.” I really didn’t want to hear myself, or anyone else for that matter, attempt to encourage me. I wanted to sulk…and so I did. Normally this would be the time that I would binge on fast food/junk food and tell myself that I’ll start back on “X-day” with ‘X’ being any arbitrary time that was far enough away from the present that I could relish in all the binging I was going to do in the days to come.
Obesity is a vicious cycle. I know this all too well. Like I’ve stated many times before, I am a yo-yo dieter. Whenever I’ve hit this slump in the past, I get so perturbed that I end up undoing all the work I’ve done thus. But I’ve learned a lot about myself during the few months I’ve been on this journey and I know I am not that person anymore.
I’ve slipped up. It happens. But I won’t quit. I will keep going. I am in this for the long haul. I have come too far. So starting today, not tomorrow, next week, next year, or any other random date, today I will dust myself off and get back to doing the things that I know are beneficial to my health.
No 'FRIES' for 365 
The final straw between my Nacho Cheese Dorito affair was the night I actually came to bed, still chewing- no- crunching the handful of Doritos I’d stuffed in my mouth right before walking back to the bedroom. In the still quiet of our restful retreat, my husband asked me incredulously, “WHAT is that sound? Are you chewing something? Do I smell…DORITOS? IN BED??” After we both laughed our asses off- well, no- not really off- this was before I went back to low-carb- I realized to what depths I’d sunk ;). I had to kick those to the curb, along with my 3-4 night a week ice cream in front of the TV nights. It’s been over a year now, and I have gone from being a non-runner to being able to run a 5k on the treadmill. In March, I will do my first 5k on the road. Wish me luck. Thing is, while determination is very important, getting your body immersed in a sugar-free diet is key to changing the way you metabolize food, and cutting cravings. Once the physical cravings are cured, it’s time to work on the mind- the true challenge. It IS easier, though, if you kick the physical addiction part first, though. Like any addiction, the one to sugar is powerful. “Admitting we have a problem is the first step.” 😉
See, I’d rather hold my pizza than speak now (my mum believes you shouldn’t speak with your mouth full.). Close the larder door and go for a walk is my advice. Unfortunately I’m not good at taking my own advice. 🙂
Chips and Pizza are the devils work! No doubt about it. Now we have things like banana nut bread, pumpkin pie, and homemade candies like fudge and peanut brittle….I guess if I write it down in my journal it is like going to confession and all will be better right?
My own personal form of motivation for physical success and fitness is to maintain the thought of inspirational people. Bruce Lee and Ayrton Senna are the main two. I’ve read and watched films about their “terrifying determination”. That there are humans who can maintain such heights inspires me to at least have a commitment and determination.
So when I am low, I cast my mind to these two people and realise that I will regret it in the future unless I can be totally committed and determined.
Hey I stop by your blog every now and then to see how you are holding up. I love the honesty. I personally don’t struggle with my weight but your post really help me to understand people who do. So thank you for sharing and keeping it real. Ummmm do you have the recipe for the strawberry lemon cake??? OMG what is that it sounds amazing!
LOL thanks for stopping by… and sorry, no I don’t have the recipe for it. Don’t know if I’d pass it on if I did… it’s sinful!!!!
Jason, we are so much alike! I fell off the wagon during Thanksgiving too, and I stayed off my diet for 10 days, and gained almost 10 pounds! It was very self-destructive, and I shamed myself as each day passed. I finally got my butt back in gear, and started back this past monday, losing 4 of the gained pounds so far. I am also a yo-yo dieter, and I think it’s a serious mental illness. Having said that, I think we have to take our diets and exercise more serious than the average person, as it is a matter of life and death in the long run. I haven’t posted since I screwed up, I’ve been too ashamed, but I will post again soon. Thanks for your honesty!
I as well have fallen off the wagon. It is hard this time of year especially because I love my sweets. I do keep a food journal online (myfitnesspal.com) and that really helps me look at what I am eating and the amount of calories I have at the end of the day. I told myself that as long as I don’t gain during the holidays I will be happy. I know setting the bar at I will lose weight is not realistic but if it happens that is great. So I just say keep your goals attainable and just say you are going to go to the gym the night before and stick to it. Excuses are the worst and I for one am full of them, I just have to try to stay out of my own way. This was kinda a ramble, sorry. Hope it helps and good luck! Get back on the wagon as soon as you can!
You CAN do it! Don’t give up. Doritos are evil and yet I understand their lure. They aren’t allowed in my house and yet as I type this, a bag is in my kitchen. I guess my boyfriend hasn’t gotten the memo that they’re forbidden;)
Thanks for the helpful tips! It can definitely be hard to stay motivated, especially during this time of the year.
Your candor is admirable. Keep going!!! 🙂
Jason, you’ve “fessed up” congratulations – that takes a lot of doing even in virtual land 🙂
Draw a line under it, up that gym work and you’ll be back on track before you know it.
Keep strong x
I’d jump off a bridge if I gained 4lbs get back to work!
Did you eat french fries? Tell me you DID NOT eat french fries!
Lol I did not eat french fries…but potota chips are just as bad…
Reblogged this on Larry Chalew's Blog and commented:
it was just one day, and now we move on … I cleaned out my kitchen of all leftovers, the were frozen or trashed.
[…] Lifted from No Fries for 365′s Blog […]
Great post and that cycle is viscous, not only that it is an ugly one to be in.
I think you’re doing great! Like some of the other comments, I find guilt just makes it worse. Our mistakes are what makes us human, and that’s the most beautiful thing about a person to me. Don’t be discouraged! You’re definitely on the right track!
Love your honesty!! And this is the worst time of the year for dieting. You are doing great and have a fun positive attitude!!
Great job Jason!
Thanks Sis!
Love that you are so honest about it! 🙂 I know that for the last week, I’ve been gaining some weight because I love to bake cookies and cake at least 1 day a week BUT I don’t want to see or know my weight just yet! don’t be like me! 🙂 don’t give up, continue your hard work and continue being honest with yourself! the reward will be amazing! 🙂
Being newly diabetic I really had to find a way to stay disciplined. It is hard, like you I am a yo yo dieter. But this past yr and half, I am finding it easier and easier to lose weight and keep my sugar down. I am not a person who likes to exercise, but I do enjoy walking and go as often as I can. I even park further away from the store to walk those extra minutes. When I feel as I am not getting enough exercise I start to clean my house, I mean down on my knees, stretching to dust the ceiling fans and bending down to get underneath furniture cleaning, and I always feel as if I had a good workout and got my house cleaned too! I know it is not as good, but it seems to be helping me. And now I come to your blog, thank you for sharing your journey with us. It keeps me motivated and I hope we do the same for you. Blessings – Patty
I have so much respect for you for being so honest. I look at my pictures during my fat stage and it motivates me to stay disciplined as I don’t want ever get back to that.
I was so disgusted with myself after Thanksgiving, I went on a veggie soud diet for 4 days (well, veggie soup, veggies, meat and low carb). I considered it a “necessary cleansing” of my system. I lost 4 pounds and I feel great.
When you fall off the “diet horse”, all you can do is get back on and show that damn horse who is boss! Ya feel me?!
Great post. I too gained over Thanksgiving but you know what, that day will come every year and every year you’ll be with your family. Don’t let one day/week discourage you. You’ve got this!
Thanks Ash.. and you’re absolutely right.
NIce to know I’m not the only one who occasionally binges on less than quality food. Especially since I’m an educator and nutritional health coach! People tend to think I eat perfect daily which Is mostly true but I am human and I don’t feel guilty or apologize for it!
I’m having the same problems and I too have weight gain to show for it. It’s good to know I’m not alone. Keep working at it and thanks for sharing!
Usually when I feel off track, I just start tomorrow with a nice workout like jogging or brisk walking then eat a healthy light healthy breakfast 🙂
I don’t have a problem with fast food, my problem is chocolate. I can leave it alone but then it calls and i answer and then its just one more bar, packet and i’ll start again tomorrow. I know all the do’s and the don’t but know is not doing.
I know you can do this! My best tip for getting back on track is to start immediately, than you don’t feel like you’ve taken as big of a step backward
I’ve found that whenever I set a hard goal for myself, the easiest way to stay motivated and keep on track instead of beating myself up if I don’t get there when I think I should is to forget about the goal (lose XX pounds, bike XX miles in XX minutes,…) and instead think of it in terms of the philosophy behind why I’ve decided to pursue that goal (to live a healthier lifestyle, be able to go about my day and feel less tired, be there for my family years from now…). Once I’ve focused on why I’m doing something that becomes my motivation to accomplish it and over time I figure out my triggers/pitfalls (having snack foods in the house) and learn how to avoid them and set myself up for success. Self-reflection = good, self-flagellation = bad 🙂
Love this! and I think that is a very smart way to approach getting back on track.
Seems like my cycle is like yours! I gained back weight with the holiday weekend too and have been fighting giving up all week. I am doing a killer hike tomorrow that may be just out of reach for me. I need to see where I want to go to help me get back on track! Good luck & keep fighting!!
My tip for getting back on track is not getting too far off track. I can recover from two hours of heavy eating and missing a workout but after that it gets tough.
Thank u so much for sharing this post! We all have been there and probably will be at some point again and can look back at this for motivation! U got this! I know u can do it! Holidays are super tough!!!! But we’re human, we make mistakes! U did the right thing by realizing it and try try trying again! 🙂
Fantastic post. Admitting your faults was incredibly inspiring. I will come back to this when I’m having a tough day. Thanks.
My tips for getting back on track are similar to what you’ve posted: plan. track. focus.
It’s such a ridiculously MENTAL game and this time of year is brutal with temptations in full force, dysfuntion adding to emotional roller coastering, etc. I’ve had to make a plan with myself for the holidays: 1)accountability with friends (real-life and interwebz) 2) staying active…minimum of 20 minutes a day 3)think about what is going in my mouth–planned…you can’t eat as much junk if you’ve already filled up on the healthy stuff—I’ve tried—it doesn’t work! So, hang in there….you have VAST company at this time of year, we are all cheering you on–you must do the same!! Blessings!!
I wrote almost the EXACT same blog a few days ago! Dieting is hard. So I don’t do it anymore. I eat well. And if I don’t eat well for a few days, it’s no big deal. I just go back to eating well when I start to feel crappy. Which is inevitable. Chin up! Get it together! You got this!!
That’s a great way to look at it. Thanks so much.
This post is exactly what I needed after my own 4 week slump!
Thanks for your blog. It’s really great, and your honesty is amazing. My advice is to let yourself off the hook for falling off the wagon. It happens. For many of us it’s that guilt that makes us eat more, makes us give up. Every day is a new one, so you don’t have to repeat any missteps that happened the day before. Good luck!
Thanks so much.. and you are exactly right. Sulking leads to over eating which just leads to more sulking and so forth and so forth…
Thank you for sharing your journey, I think all of us have been in your shoes at one time. I agree that journaling your food is very helpful for losing and maintaining weight. MyFitnessPal has a great website, and iPad or iPhone app, all free that are great for keeping track of your food intake! Keep up the good work, I always enjoy your posts, and looking at how far you’ve come.
Thanks so much!
For me, personally, I do better by getting on that scale every day or every other day. It helps me keep on track and to keep my goals in mind the next time I want to eat something. I also find it helpful to write every bit of food down. Every cream puff, every banana nut muffin, every cookie & french fri. This way, when i look at it later, I can run a highlighter over it and write down comments in red ink what I was thinking when I binged on whatever it was. it helps me to think twice the second time.
I could never weigh myself every day; but keeping a food journal is sound advice.